It Sucks Being A Yes Man

What is it?

Chances are you know a “Yes Person”. If you don’t know of anyone, you’re probably the one. A Yes Person, more commonly known as a Yes Man but not to be too gender specific that I get yelled at for it, is someone whose knee-jerk reaction is to say “Yes” to anything that is asked of them. Someone who is afraid to disappoint others because they want to show how reliable or versatile they are. These Yes People tend to get walked over and may be synonymous with “Pushovers”.

I tend to fall into this category based on the reasons above. When it does happen to become annoying or enough, I tend to snap and come off as an asshole because of all the bottled up frustration inside. I will give some real examples that I have been involved in recently that actually piss me off thinking that I did say yes, but feel better after the fact that I said no the next time.

Please do not hesitate to comment with your opinion on how things went down or how you would have handled it. I would honestly like to read how it could have gone differently.

Example 1 – Power Trip

This happens to take place at work, so it’s kind of touchy. To set a background, at the time I was a Quality Test Tech working in the office transitioning onto the Engineering team, so I was on one of the lowest rungs of the ladder.

The Associate Engineer “above me” asked me to find out how long it takes for a certain part to assemble step-by-step. I did what the Associate Engineer (AEng) wanted me to do and I went to the assemblers and asked them how many units they can do in one day, divided it by 8 hours (considering their two 10 minutes breaks) and went to return the packet to the AEng. For the record, this took no more than 10 minutes. Well the AEng was sitting on one of the work tables just talking story with some other production employees. I gladly gave AEng the packet and went back to work on my own assignments.

In the next few days, AEng walked up to me and said that the supervisor in France said that it was impossible that one of the steps took 96 minutes to complete. I looked at AEng and said,

Me: “Have you sat there and wound one of the parts or even watched them do it?”

AEng: “Well I want you to sit there with them for the 96 minutes…”

Me: “Why don’t you sit there with them? I have other assignments and parts I need to take care of.”

AEng: “France is on my back about this part and I need to get it done.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what to tell you about your part.”

AEng: “Do I need to go talk to [our manager] and say that you’re not going to sit there with them?”

Me: “Go ahead.”

It turns out that I called the AEng’s bluff and the AEng don’t come to me for favors anymore or try to pawn their work off onto me. By the looks of it, I’m getting more assignments, heading more projects and the AEng actually reports to me more than I report to them.

Example 2 – The 21 Run

There are groups of friends that know us better than we know ourselves. In my group of friends from college, they know two sides of me. When I’m not loud, they think I’m sick or just straight sober. I tend to speak out of my ass for reactions and to push buttons. Some things I say with them may be offensive outside of the circle of friends, but we don’t take anything we say to each other too seriously.

Now, I wasn’t out with them the night one of my friend’s sister yacked (threw up) in her car. Granted it was her 21st birthday. So I chose not to go out that night for a reason that I don’t remember. I meet up with my friends for some brunch and was informed about what had happened. I was asked how to clean it out of the carpet of the car, next thing you know she says, “Since you know how it’s done, can you clean it?!” Well shit…I end up cleaning it because I’m a Yes Man…

It sucks because whenever I refuse to do anything, I’m seen as an asshole or something is wrong with me. Truth is, I just don’t wanna do it because it’s not my problem.

Example 3 – Check Yoself Before you Riggity-Wreck Yoself

Last night, 1/22/2017, Central Florida had a tornado warning and a couple little sightings here and there. I live with 3 college students, two of which go to UCF and the other Valencia College. One of them was on campus and had to walk to his car in the torrential downpour. When he got home he yelled through the bathroom door,

Him: “Hey, can you do me a favor and grab a pack of cigarettes from the store?”

Me: “Why didn’t you go on your way home?”

Him: “I don’t think you understand how drenched I am right now.”

Me: “Well there’s literally 5 gas stations you could have passed by on your way home.”

Him: “But dude, I’m soaking wet.”

Me: “Yeah dude whatever.”

Him: “You are a saint and a scholar.”

The next night, 1/23/2017, he asked me to run the dishwasher when he clearly agreed to do it every night regardless of whose dishes they were. He hasn’t done them since. I, for one, have been doing my own dishes and moving whomever’s dishes to the other half of the sink.

We discussed the other night that he would go to Home Depot to get a new filter for the A/C unit at our house. I asked him while I was eating a snack if he’s had a chance to do it. His excuse was that he couldn’t sleep last night, therefore he didn’t have a chance because he came home and passed out. It’s understandable, I was a college student at one point and I know how it is.

At our house, we have $100 worth of electricity each ($400 total) and we’re charged for the overages. He keeps all the lights on…his light switch is next to his door. He says it aids him in walking around his room so he doesn’t trip. I tell him I’m not his father, but he should clean his room if that’s the problem.

Back to the dishes. When he asked me to do the dishes, I brought up that we agreed he’d do them and asked, “What happened to that?”. He held up his book he needs to read for class (he’s a literature major). I shook my head and said “We’re all adults, we should all be able to take care of ourselves by now. I’m not cleaning up after anyone anymore and I’ve really only been doing my dishes.”

My roommates know that I’m out of the house from 0530-2100 and coming home to do chores like that…excuse you.

In The End

I’m not a saint or the cleanest or most responsible person, but c’mon…really? My personal thought is, if you have to ask for something that you can do yourself, you’re just straight up lazy and selfish. I get that there are times where you have to rely on others or be reliable, but when it comes to just straight up poor time management or “fatigue” then suck it up and get what you need to get done. Life happens whether you want it to or not, you can either roll over and give up or kick life in the face.

“Rely on yourself before you rely on others.”

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4 thoughts on “It Sucks Being A Yes Man

  1. dosies

    I’m not necessarily a “yes man” but when a friend asks, I try to help. But if they get too pushy, I tell them off. I don’t really like those kinds of people, I try to make friends with them (something I noticed recently is that I subconsciously adjust my humor from my normal extreme to theirs) but if it doesn’t work, oh well. Plenty of people in the world to meet, you know?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree dosies. I’m a passive aggressive person when it comes to confrontation, I tend to get playful when I’m angry, but when I’m serious it’s well-known. I don’t try to change the way people live and go about their day, but when it starts to have an effect my own personal life, I’ll make a comment or try to condition a reaction over the course of time. Otherwise, I tend to come off as an asshole over time.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. endo

    I think I say yes to people’s requests a ton. But I don’t think I ever NOT want to do it. I think at the root level, it’s good to be open and honest, and to be selfless and generous. If you endeavor to level up those things, the yes-person stuff will work itself out. You’ll say yes only when you mean it, and you’ll endeavor to want to mean it more often. Also, transparency and honesty will clean up passive-aggressive issues nicely.

    Liked by 1 person

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